As parents, we work towards sending our children out into the world as independent adults who can make their own way. The day they start living outside the family home is a milestone and a cause for celebration. Some people at this stage of life find themselves with more time and energy for their own interests.
But many parents are also struck by a sense of loss, loneliness and even grief. This emotional response to children leaving home is known as empty nest syndrome .
Recognising the emotions linked to children leaving home
Every family experiences empty nest syndrome in a different way. For some families, it has little emotional impact. But for other parents, even as they rejoice in new-found freedom, they experience redundancy, anxiety, restlessness or just sadness.
Whatever you are feeling, it’s worth acknowledging it, and giving yourself whatever space you need to process this massive change.
A support network
The therapy experts at Counselling Directory recommend not leaning on your children for support with intense feelings, as this may put undue pressure on them and leave them with feelings of guilt.
Asking for some care and morale support can feel like a risk when you’re low, but a chat and a cuppa, or a walk in the park can be helpful when you’re working through negative emotions. Rather than leaning on one person, look to a wider support network – that way, asking feels like less of a risk.
Opening up a little about your children leaving home to even casual acquaintances can reveal surprising sources of comfort and expertise. You might even find a group of friends who are all going through the same life event.
Your support network could also include a coach, therapist or counsellor if you think that would help – and you should definitely seek professional help if your feelings of depression and sadness persist.
Keep busy
With your children needing less from you, now’s a good time to think about what you really enjoy doing. Fun or challenging activities such as courses, hobbies, active pursuits and volunteering can fill your time while giving you space to process your feelings. You might have some wellbeing goals, or even a business idea that you’d like to try.
New activities can help you make new friends and give you something to talk about and look forward to.
Change your home around
With your children spending less time at home, you may have more freedom in how you use your space. Home improvements and decluttering could open up a room where you can exercise, study or enjoy a craft or a pastime. Your child is likely to feel put out if you clear out their room and turn it into a gym in the first months of the academic year – but self-storage is a good option if your spare bedroom or box room has been taken over by their clothes, sports equipment or school books. Remember to adjust your self-storage insurance if you add items to your unit. And it’s worth getting a quote from Store and Insure to see if you can get a better price for your self-storage insurance.
